yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize