I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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