What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize