If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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