I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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