So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
