I bet he comes in French.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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