Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize