After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
