i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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