He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
