just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
