i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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