put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week