It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet