If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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