alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.