dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!