I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
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Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill