There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably