it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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