Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
