taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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