Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.