yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she told me i tasted like america
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?