I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches