I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.