I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize