Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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