The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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