Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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