Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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