Your dad touched me again.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize