clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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