No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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