true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
