Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
we're so committed to being not committed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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