I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.