I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.