A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
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I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.