party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him