my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!