bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.