i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.