My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drunk is not a location!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
