I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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