"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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