how can u be prego again
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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