You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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