So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
