Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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