as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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