I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize