Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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