Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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