I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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