OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize