I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
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if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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We don't watch enough power rangers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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