ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus