Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.