hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?