God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
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Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"