and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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