if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.