successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.