Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS