Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

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(250): I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman http://tfl.nu/ee4v

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?

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(603): could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt? (1-603): you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call? http://tfl.nu/6h21

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(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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(631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad

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(919): View more from North Carolina

its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table

(804): View more from Virginia

by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?

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(919): its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table (804): by asking you if you bought one for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/5ql8

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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(630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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(920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe

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(720): View more from Colorado

You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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(720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd

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(217): View more from Illinois

Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

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(217): Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside http://tfl.nu/d6yu

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(678): View more from Georgia

Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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(678): Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that. http://tfl.nu/i43f

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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel awful

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Physically or morally

(513): View more from Ohio

Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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(513): I feel awful (1-513): Physically or morally (513): Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances. http://tfl.nu/3wvv

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(631): View more from New York

if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

(516): View more from New York

.org?

(631): View more from New York

yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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(631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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(860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo

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(415): View more from California

It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.

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(415): It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms. http://tfl.nu/erk3

Replies (9) Good night (1750) Bad night (243)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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(540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x

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(541): View more from Oregon

Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

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(541): Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/bqm2

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