She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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