Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize